Mater's Got His Beer Goggles On
by NikChik-11
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the guys got drunk? Click here to find out! [sorry this doesn't include Fillmore, Sarge, Mack,and Red. Lol, I forgot about them]


_Lol, ok so this is pretty random, and sorta stupid, but what would happen if most the guys from Cars got drunk one night? Lol, like I said, random. But here it is…._

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It was just an average night in Radiator Springs, most of the residents at Flo's V8 Café. Sally, Flo, Mia, Tia, and Lizzy were all sitting around, and talking. While the guys were drinking, and singing off-key to the radio. Right now, Billy's Got His Beer Goggles was playing.

"He's on the dance floor, yellin' free bird!" Lightning was shouting into the night are. He teetered abit, seeming to be on the edge of consciousness.

Sally laughed as she watched her boyfriend continue to sing loudly.

"What's so funny, sweetheart?" Flo asked. "I don't like it when they get drunk like this, but hey… If that's how they want to spend their free time."

Sally laughed again. "It's just so funny, watching them act like this… I know it's wrong, but still. And don't tell him I said this, but… He can only sing on-key when he's drunk." She said, her voice just above a whisper.

Flo laughed, watching her husband start singing along too.

"But right now his worries are gone!!! Cuz Mater's got his beer goggles ooooooon!!!!!!!!!!" They continued to sing, while Mater danced to it.

"Wheeeeeehooooooooooooo!!!!" Mater shouted, twirling his tow cable like a lasso. "I LUV COOKIES!!!!!!"

Lightning and Ramone stopped singing, and busted out laughing. Flo gave Sally a sideways glance, which Sally returned.

"What do cookies, like, have to do with anything?" Mia asked.

"I don't know… wait, what's a cookie?" Tia replied, raising a windshield.

Sally laughed, then caught herself. "What _is_ a cookie?"

"Who knows, it's _Mater._" Flo replied.

"Big Al ate cookies. Made him tough!" Lizzy exclaimed.

Mia looked over, surprised. "Oh No! Don't tell me that the little, old lady's drunk too!"

Lizzy didn't seem to hear her, she just continued to rattle on about Big Al.

"No, that's just how she is…" Sally stated. She sighed, then turned her attention back to the guys. Now, Lightning was doing frequent doughnuts, and Ramone was holding on to Mater's tow cable, causing him to think the ghost light had him.

"AAARGH!!!!!!! IT'S THE GHOST LIIIIIIGHT!!!! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, tearing down the street, with Ramone being dragged behind him.

"Whoa!!! I'm gonna hurl my cookies!!!" He exclaimed, shouting something else in Spanish.

Doc suddenly hiccupped, sinking down on his tires, and falling into unconsciousness. Lightning was still doing doughnuts, when he suddenly slowed down, his face a weird tint of green. He vomited all over the concrete, passing out in his own oil.

"Eeeew." Tia, Mia, Sally, and Flo said in unison.

"Now, I'm going to toss my cookies." Sally said.

"WHAT THE HECK IS A COOKIE?!" Tia and Mia screamed.

"I don't know, but I'm going to toss it!" Sally shouted.

fade to black

_Yea, cause life looks good, good, when Mater's got his beer goggles on._

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fades back in to see Mater and Ramone out in the desert somewhere.

"Dude, where _are_ we?" Ramone asked, hiccupping.

"SHUDDAP YOU EVIL GHOST LIGHT!" Mater screamed, attempting to bang Ramone upside the hood.

"Home, I'm NOT a ghost light!!!" Ramone shouted.

"Oh."

"Now, where ARE we?" Ramone asked again.

"Iono, home, looks like we in some deserted land, ya know, no civilization, my home skillet bisquit. Party like a rockstar!!!" Mater exclaimed.

Ramone turned around, slapping Mater on the hood.

"Ow!!! What was that for, home?" 

Ramone frowned. "You're not a gansta, so don't act like one."

"Heeheehee!" Mater cried, being thrown into a fit of giggles. "I see two cars waaaaaaaaay out there…"

"What?! What the heck…? Are you hallucinating?" Ramone asked, frustrated.

"I think I drank to many cookies…"

"Wait, I see them too." Ramone said, spotting two cars heading towards them.

Soon, Mini and Van drove up, dust covered, and a little out of their minds. "On ramp! On ramp! I can FEEL it!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Van exclaimed.

"Ok……." Ramone muttered. "Let's just go home."

"Where's home?" Mater asked.

"Radiator Springs!" Ramone shouted, turning around. "But, where _is_ Radiator Springs….?"

Mater burped. "I wanna chunky monkey…"

_Yea, cause life feels good, good, good, when Mater's got his beer goggles on_

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_Reviews? I know it was stupid, but hey, so am I!_

_RODEOS NEXT WEEKEND!!!!!!! YAY!!!!_

_See what I mean? Lol_


End file.
